This is pretty much what it feels like to be in Lincolnton for me.
I love it :)

Padre and Me; it was so hot in there!
My face was so red.
Jessie and Me :)
Jessie and TURNER! :)
Emilie and Jessie :)
Jessie, Wesley, Blake, and Derek :)
Madre :)

11/17/08

It's funny when you lose a relationship.
All those things you overlooked come back to drive you crazy.
Whatever pardons or annoyances you had with someone,
they just rush back and you want to spend all night screaming it at them but, on the other hand, you say they aren't worth it.
Yeah, well, you aren't worth it, but I'm going to anyway.
The last words won't matter when the whole time you wanted them spilling down someone else's lips.
I'm not stupid, just selectively blind.
It's weird to think you're over something
and then some kind of blow comes back
and, for some reason, it really hits you hard.
It's over, but the fact that you weren't the one they wanted in the first place still stings.
There are sometimes I want to hear you say it's not true.
There are sometimes I want to burn this bridge from both sides with you in the middle.
Sometimes I'm on top of the world,
and the next minute I'm down quicker than her back against your mattress.
But I'm not choking on words you should have eaten.
I've got hands to hold and friends to fall on.
I've got more than you could ever hope for.
Just remember when you're sweating and shaking
and it's cold and hot at the same time
and you're tossing and turning with those bruises and itches
and you can't sleep,
I'm that fever you can't sweat out.

I want to watch this so badly!

And, you know, Christmas just needs to hurry up and get here already.

I'm tired of waiting.

transcendentalsm = <3

This is me apologizing for past, and any future use of gratuitous profanity.
It usually isn't the case, but, you know, f-bombs have been dropped here and there.
I'm just sayin'.

1/5/09

Tired kid's hopes and dreams
and worries
are played out on afternoon sessions
with guitar strings and soft picks;
there are only four chords,
but there's a story
that's waiting to be sung.

I'm tired of waiting,
I'm tired of dreaming.
I'm tired of sitting up at four in the morning,
wondering if tonight I'll finally get sleep.
I'm tired of wanting,
and thinking,
and shrinking,
and shrinking,
and shrinking.
You saved me- what can I say?
It's obvious.
But what now?
My feet are on the ground,
but my lungs are still in the ocean.
I want to get them back, but you won't let me.
How am I supposed to breathe?
I can't rely on you for forever.
I can't wait for them to wash up with the tide.
I can't wait for you to wash up with the tide.
I can't wait for you to wash up,
rinse off,
and sail away again.

I'm tired of writing sad songs.
I'm tired of being unaware that you're gone.
My lungs will never catch up with my heart.

Oh, Bob Dylan.
You're not that terrible.

dear blogspot,
why can't i post pictures or paste text?!
please fix this before i get angry.

xo

"Pocahontas, I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you."
-John Smith

haha, those damn cups.

just got back from jesse's house; i stayed there for four days.

so much fun, oh my god.

i love staying at her house. our friendship is so weird, but i love it. she's the only one of my friends i can be one-hundred percent myself around and we don't really ever get on each other's nerves. that's because we can be up-front with each other and tell the other one when to shut the hell up and to stop being bitchy.

anyway, i love her (:

catherine, me, and caley at the football game on friday (:
we sat in front of the cheerleaders and made fun of them all night, haha.
i love them.
our football team actually did well, though. it was our first playoff game and we beat a really good team. i never go to games, though. jesse dragged me.
we froze our asses off and everyone kept having to sit on each others laps because the student section was so full.
it turned out to be really fun.

7/6/09

Maybe you'll wake up one day,
Regret the fact that you didn't stay
Or do the things you swore you would
and realize leaving never did any good.
Maybe you'll think of me and the love
(I thought) we shared
Or remember how you never cared
Enough to hear what I had to say
Before you went and ran away.
Maybe you'll get the nerve to make the call
You never made, but you'll still stall
And convince yourself to put down the phone
But stare at it for hours, home alone.
Maybe you'll wonder if I still feel the same,
Wonder why I never came
To see you when you were back in town
For Christmas, even though you never came around.
Maybe you'll come home for good,
Finally do all the things you said you would,
With your heart filled with love, knock on my door
Only to find I'm not waiting anymore.

but things are never that simple.

I am the most nostalgic person I know.
That is, of course, besides my cousin Devan.

Devan is pretty much my best friend. He is one of three people who know absolutely everything about me and he's the least judgemental person I know. He always makes me laugh and has been through a lot of the same stuff I have, so he always seems to understand. And I love that about him.

I talked to Devan on the phone today for almost two hours. The majority of that time was spent talking about the way things used to be. We have this generic term- "the good days"- that we refer to when we talk about when we were little. "The good days" means the days before all the aunts on my mom's side of the family (my mom, Aunt Jenni, and Aunt Robin) got divorced. Whenever this comes up in conversation, we automatically know exactly what the other person is talking about: hammocks, Grease, barbies, tea parties, christmas, biscuits, bikes, crushed ice, rolling down the stairs, slapping Emily in the back, walking up town, monopoly, charlie horses, and tarbaby. If anyone other that the cousins on that side of the family heard these things, they would have no idea what hell we were talking about. But that's just it, no one else would ever understand because they weren't there.

Nostalgia is a funny concept. You can spend hours on the phone with your gay cousin talking about how amazing things were when you were eight years old and it makes you happy. But then, the conversation is over and real life sets in and you're not happy anymore; all you want to do is sit in your room and cry about how things aren't the same anymore- how they're never going to be same anymore.

My mom likes to tell me about what I was like when I was little. She says I was a happy, giggly, girl who always claimed to see angels in my room. I always tell her that I was probably lying about the angels, but she swears up and down that I wasn't lying and that children are more perceptive to things like that. I'm still happy for the most part and I laugh all the time, but I don't see angels anymore.

None of this is exactly relevant, but I've just been thinking about things lately.
I just can't seem to accept the fact that when things change,
they'll never be the same again.

because that's all I ever really wanted.

you're so hyptnotizing;
you've got me laughing while i sing,
you've got me smiling in my sleep.
and i can see this unraveling
-you're love is where i'm falling-
so, please, don't catch me.

Pictures from The White Tie Affair Talent show

Halloween!- Columbia, South Carolina

Dave from Every Avenue

Ryan from Runner Runner
"Stay sweet"
He was kind of awkward, haha.

Josh! from Every Avenue :D

Matt from Every Avenue

Jimmie from Every Avenue

Peter from Runner Runner :)
he was so adorable!

Stereo Skyline minus Brian

Chris and Tim from The White Tie Affair, hahaha :)
"This is an extension of my...hand"

Dennis from Every Avenue

Jon from Runner Runner :)

Nick from Runner Runner

Brian from Stereo Skyline

Sean from The White Tie Affair, hahahah.
"We're taking this picture my way!"

Ryan from The White Tie Affair

Jessie's dad made us pose with all of our merch, haha :)

After, in the McDonald's bathroom :)
I love Katie Makepeace for holding that up, hahah.