january 13, 2008

it seems that everyone has someone, everywhere i turn.
and it seems as if romance is what their lives consist of.
peter wentz was right; romance is dead.

everyone's desperation not to be alone is leaving me spinning in circles.

it's like we are the select few, unpaired. because no one can match us.
we are the ones who are strong and independent on our own.
we don't need another half because we were never made as two halves;
people have a hard time understanding that.

i am a hypocrite.
i am a liar.
what i say means nothing, because it's not true
and i know it.

you come out a stronger person.
you shouldn't base your life on one person,
there's no reason to rush into relationships.
there is more you should be worrying about,
like how you are going to survive.

i want to survive high school above all else.
and so far, my mission is falling apart at the seams.

it's official now, i've become a failure.
there is something wrong with me, and i don't mean physically.

i wish my pain was physical, it's possible.
dotted lines on my wrists with the instruction saying 'cut here'.
but one: i'm not like that
and two: that's stupid.

i'm not that pathetic, i have a purpose.
i have someone to love and someone loves me.
even if it isn't how i want it to be anymore.

maybe i want to evolve, but i can't because they don't want me.

typical, unrequited love is all i feel.
but i keep telling myself it's not love.
love is dead.

but i can't seem to get my whole heart into anything anymore.
maybe because some of my heart has left with the many hurtful words.
heart filled lies.
i was giving away pieces of myself, but the wrong pieces.

i should have given them a piece of my mind, not a piece of my heart.
or my soul, because i'm starting to regret ever parting with my soul.

and it seems as though, i'm forgetting the things i once knew.
all because i can't seem to be forgetting you.

and i think my life should become a story.
where if i don't like something, i can re-write it,
or better yet- burn the book.

i'm a fake in the most conspicuous ways,
no one would even guess.

honestly, i'm an honest liar.

contradictions are the new sex tapes;
everyone should make one.



this is not me anymore
and i've never been so proud to say that.