Let's just have an honest moment. I miss Panic! at the Disco.

I've been avoiding it for awhile now, because it just seemed like they weren't going to release any new stuff for a long time. I hadn't listened to any songs, watched any videos, read any interviews- I had cut them out of my life essentially. But today I caved. I was looking around my room saw all of the posters and just had a relapse. I laid on my bed for two hours and listened to every single song I had of theirs.

And I cried.

It had been so long. I'm talking at least five months. I hadn't listened to my favorite band in five months! It felt so good to hear them pouring through my speakers again.

So, for the past hour or so, I've been reading so many interviews that I so skillfully avoided. And, oh my god, I'm so excited for their new cd. Words can't even express the type of joy I'm feeling right now.

I've missed them so much.

I'm never giving up again.

i just want a guy to kiss me like this.

i just want this, okay?

this is what my heart yearns for!

hahah :)

(no, but seriously...)

Life can be really good when you need it to be.

This summer has been so much better than I expected it to be. For the first time, I'm not stressed out about what I should be doing or where I should be at a certain time. It's just been...chill.

I've realized somethings about myself recently. Like how I worry about the little things so much until I'm so anxious and can't even stand it. And how I constantly think about everything that could be going wrong, so much that sometimes I can't even let myself have a good time with my friends. But, I've been working on it. And you know what? Things are so much easier when you don't worry.

So, as for now, no more freaking out when there aren't any definite plans. I'm just going with the flow and the flow has yet to reject me.

Of course, I still set alarms so I don't sleep in too late, but that's just the type of person I am.

On a separate note, senior pictures went really great! I'm excited to see them. I can't believe I'm graduating next year.

It's so crazy.

I need to take a deep breath.

Relaxation has always come so easy to me, yet having time to accomplish it has been sparse lately. Alas! I am in Lincolnton and have time to do nothing but relax and spend time with all of my beloved family. These people, they are the best in the entire world. And that's an understatement.

I've been at my mom's since Monday, but today was the first day we actually went into Lincolnton, as she lives thirty minutes out of the way, and man, I've missed it. I always do. I went to surprise Devan at work and it was great. He practically busted out of the bakery, running to pick me up and spin me around like he always does. I love him so much. I love everything about this place.

I never want to leave.

There are only few songs that evoke intense emotion from me.
Jasey Rae (All Time Low), Bruised (Jack's Mannequin) and No One's Gonna Love You (Band of Horses) are some of them.

Pandora just played all three in a row.

It's ridiculous how much I miss Lincolnton sometimes.

And it always happens unexpectedly. For instance, I'll be watching something on tv that will remind me of someone there or something that happened there and BAM! I'm just wishing for summer to get here already so I can leave this godforsaken county with all of these godforsaken people.

I'm so tired of living amidst all of this.

And I'm not even sure what it is exactly that this is.

Sorry for the lack of updates.
I gave up the computer for lent and then, well, I got tired of having to update things. And now, I'm back, but I don't know, it just doesn't seem as important anymore.
When I'm older, I'm not going to care about how my dad pissed me off when I was seventeen or how I stressed over school. So, is it really even important?
The importance of things is significantly lower in retrospect.

But who knows, I may go back to updating ten times a day or it may be once a week.
I just don't know.
Things are getting kind of stressful with the school year coming to a close and getting on the computer is just a big distraction I'm not going to be able to afford in a couple of weeks.

you're the echoes of my everything,
you're the emptiness the whole world sings at night,
you're the laziness in the afternoon,
you're the reason why i burst and why i bloom,
you're the leaky sink of sentiment,
you're the failed attempts i never could forget,
you're the metaphors i can't create to comprehend this curse that i call love.

i love you, however,
you hold me down.

Love is no exception to change.

a memory remains but a tiny spark

i really miss this.

I'm really starting to despise all of this frozen weather.

I was supposed to go to a french dinner tonight at the country club and I was going to taste escargot, but no.
My dad doesn't want me to risk it, because the roads
are supposed to get bad.

Apparently they were horrible this morning and that's why school was cancelled, but they look perfectly okay at the moment.

So frustrating.

"I'm with them because, despite everything, I still love them. And while you might walk in and find me punching a wall, it's only because I want to kiss their lips.

There's no revenge here.

Love doesn't hate back."

I can't let myself regret such selfishness

:)

hahahahahahahahahah!